I'm sitting here surrounded by books and binders.  I have one job for myself today.  Prepare for cabin devotions. 

So far my topics are:
-purity and modesty (Junior Camp)
-purity and modesty (Teen Camp)
-Jesus: What was/is He like? (Teen Camp: With Stephanie)
-family relationships (Teen Camp: With Stephanie)

You can pray for me, not just for preparing, but that no matter what the topic it would be grounded in God's Word and that the discussion would point us to Jesus Christ.  Pray that these times would be meaningful and God glorifying. 

Now to get to work...

I am a very critical woman.  It's not really a surprise to me but I've been taking stock of my critical tendencies since, after a certain event, a good friend looked at me and said, "You have an opinion about everybody, don't you?" 

I do. 

I feel like I am outside of the situation and able to unbiasedly evaluate everyone else on their behaviour, attitudes and words.  I feel like I can judge whether someone is 'in' or not spiritually.  And of course I'm always right.

This morning I read about a different way of living.  "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  Jn 13:34,35  I didn't stop and think about this verse because it grabbed me; I stopped because it didn't.  As I grabbed a pencil to underline this important statement I realized that I havn't spent very much time thinking about how *I* can love others.  How do I love my roommates?  How do I love my boss?  How am I going to love my fellow staffers during the two weeks of camp?

Now there is something I havn't dwelt on before.  I've thought about loving the campers.  I've thought about loving God.  I've thought about how to make sure the gospel is clear and how to discipline.  But not how to make the other staff people's lives easier.  I keep thinking of how to make my life easier.  How I can make sure I have enough energy.

So I'm praying for grace to love.  Not just at camp, although that's a good place to work on this, but in general.  To become a woman known for love rather than criticism. 

When I go for walks I pass by two interesting houses.  The first is immaculate.  They have been renovating the exterior of the house all year.  The landscaping is gorgeous: interesting rock flower gardens, well groomed lawn and a gleaming white deck/sitting area.  Every time I walk by I admire the house and yard.  Over the year and a half I've lived on Young Lane I have had some interaction with the lady of the house.  My roommate and I refer to her as the neighbour lady who never smiles.  Often she is outside working when I drive or walk past but never has she uttered a greeting or offered a smile, even if we make eye contact and I smile. 

Right next door is a fairly nice house with a usually well kept lawn but the siding is different colours in some places, the lawn has not been trimmed in a few days and the garage is not overly attractive.  I've also had some interaction with the lady of this house.  She is perpetually smiling, quick to chuckle and always ready for a conversation.

As I walked by these houses today I reflected on how wasted it seems for the first lady to have such a beautiful yard and home without having a welcoming spirit.  (In her defense, my impression comes only from minimal contact.  I know nothing of what she has experienced in life which may have caused her to be unengaged and unhappy.)  How many people can enjoy the beauty she is creating?  How many people can relax in her home?

In contrast, how freeing to see and talk to the second lady, regardless of what state her yard or house may be in.  Yes, she cares about her yard and house and works on them but it's not consuming her.  She has time to enjoy people.

I would much rather be like the second lady.  It's a challenge to me.  I may not be consumed by my yard but how consumed am I by my appearance?  My ministry programs?  Keeping it all together?  God give me grace to enjoy. 

The chorus of this song has been in my head for the last couple days.

  

Read

Take This Life Lyrics

here.

A few weeks ago we did a two part series on spiritual gifts for youth group.  It wasn't my idea and to be honest it didn't seem like an overly exciting topic to me.  God has a sense of humour because I was the one who ended up teaching the two weeks.  The first week we talked about the purpose of spiritual gifts.  Nothing new here, just a huge reminder that the purpose of spiritual gifts is to build up the church.  Nothing wrong with talents, they are God given too but spiritual gifts aren't given for our own benefit but rather for the benefit of the church.  A good reminder in that study is that we don't receive gifts based on our spiritual maturity.  In fact, what gifts we have has no relation to our spiritual maturity, as seen in the Corinthian church.

But the more interesting study was looking at descriptions of the gifts and figuring out which ones we have and which ones others have.  (We looked at descriptions that Mark Driscoll used in a sermon during his sermon series in 1 Corinthians.)  In preparation for the study I went to a friend of mine and asked if she knew what her spiritual gift was.  She said no.  This is someone who feels that she has very little to give to the church.  As I read the definition for the gift of service as well as some questions to figure out if that's your gift any arguement she could have had about not being a servant was wiped away and she got a sheepish grin on her face.  She saw herself in the description. 

Later, at youth, after I read through all the different descriptions we shared about what we thought our own gift(s) were and what other peoples gifts were.  Only one person didn't see themselves in any of the gifts (but others shared what gifts they thought that person might have).  What I saw was people who questioned if they had anything to give or wondering how they could be involved suddenly being able to articulate what they do well, what they can offer the body of Christ. 

It's amazing for me to realize, and pass on, the fact that all of God's kids have a place in the body.  Each one has a purpose.  Because my gifts are more front and center I can (and have) considered myself superior and thought of others, whose gifts were more background and hidden gifts, as inferior.  Studying the gifts rounded that picture out for me.  It's not just preaching or teaching.  There are the very important gifts of encouragement, mercy, giving.  Thinking about those sorts of gifts brings to mind those who have demonstrated those gifts in my life.  People who have come along side me and given me a pat on the back, a card in the mailbox, cleaned up after an event without me knowing, offered to helpe me in anyway possible.  I value these gifts.  These are not inferior gifts.  They are pure blessing. 

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.  1 Corinithians 12:12

Because one of the things I'm focusing on developing right now is my prayer life I've been doing some reading and thinking about prayer.  I ran across a couple quotes from DL Moody.

It is easy to understand that prayer to God is powerful and important but somehow there is more glamour in thinking about being a prayer warrior than actually bending the knee, quieting the heart and communicating with God.  Why is it so difficult?

I guess there are a few things stacked against us: we have an enemy who works his wiles to keep us from praying, we have our flesh that wants to be comfortable, we have our pride that wants to focus on us, we have our minds that are overstimulated and our hearts that cool so quickly in love for God.  Oh, and the self-sufficiency to think that we can actually manage on our own, that we're actually doing okay.  Maybe mix in a bit of doubt that God will actually move.  Makes for quite the daunting combination. 

I'm frustrated with myself for my lack of prayer.  And I'm frustrated with the church.  (The greater church.)  Why are we so lacking in this as a body?  Why is something so central to spiritual growth and breakthrough so neglected?  I'm sure there are a lot of prayer warriors who are waging battle unbeknown to the rest of us but where is the corporate prayer? 

And what I'm scared of, and wondering, will a great work of God be absent until we pick up our cross and kneel?