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May 20

And so it ends...

I missed the next two weeks of Apple Seeds while 'replacing mom' (see previous posts) in BC.  While I was away Miriam Mast filled in. 
 
The second week they talked about the gospel.  A beautiful, godly woman knows that she is a sinner deserving to be separated from the pefect and holy God but she also knows that through Jesus she can know God. 

Miriam, my counterpart

The third week they talked about inner and outer beauty.  Each girl had a paper with her name on it on which each of the other girls wrote something they liked about that girl.  We are often unaware of the things people are noticing and appreciating so it is good to go through an exercise like this to encourage each other.  They then looked at beautiful women of the Bible.
 
The fourth week I was back.  We talked about getting to know God better.  How do we do that?  Reading the Bible (we went through a practice, reading different different verses and writing down what they teach us about God), prayer (which includes singing) and from older Christians (parents, older students, reading biographies...).  One thing I shared with them which I'm finding really helpful in my own life is to write two sentences in response to reading Scripture, one beginning with 'God is' and the other with 'I am".
 
The fifth week we talked about being creative with the gifts God has given us.  God has given us all kinds of gifts, some creative in themselves (art, music) and some more boring (organization, academic ability).  But because we are created in the image of a creative God we are called to be creative with our gifts as well.  We are to use whatever He has given us to serve each other and show the love of Jesus to those who do not know Him.

Making Cinnamon Buns

 
The last week we talked about boundaries and goals.  Although these girls are only 8-12 it is not too many years before they will be young women.  If they want to become beautiful godly women they will need to decide now what is going to be acceptable and what will not.  We specifically focused on sexual boundaries.  With the age of those being sexually active dropping all the time it's important to bring this up now, to let them now that they need to decide whether they will save themselves for their husbands now. 
 
It was a great six weeks. I trust that something was passed on to these girls.  If nothing else a sense that there's some older women who care about them and that it's a valuable thing to become a godly woman. 
April 16

His Grace is Enough

 

God's grace has proved sufficient!  I (and Mom) made it through the week! 
 
Actually the kids were as good or better than could be expected.  There were some touchy times, but I suppose that's just the way it is.  My nephew and niece can't be perfect all the time!
 

P1190031

It's quite surprising.  I expected to come home exhausted and stressed out with all the catching up to do.  Instead I've found myself happy to be home and ready for the tasks in front of me.  I think the reason is that instead of vegging out on a couch and eating way to much, I was being active and 'working' (I think painting with my nephew can count as work...right?).  So, instead of feeding laziness I exchanged one sort of work for another for a time.  Having done something completely different I'm ready again for the 'same old, same old.' 
 

P1190012

I enjoyed being a 'mom' for a week (actually, just an auntie...I skipped out on waking up during the night!) and having done that I've learned that when the time comes I will learn how to roll with the punches.  But I am willing to let that time be a ways down the road.
 
For one thing I realized how hard it is to intentionally be teaching a child.  Both spiritual lessons and academic ones.  It's so much easier to let the TV do the talking.  I think it would be even easier for a mom to settle into routine and have time fly by without taking time to teach valuable lessons.  Moms really do have a challenging job.  I have no idea how any mom can work at the same time!
 
In short, I enjoyed my week with the kids and learned I have a lot more to learn!
 
April 03

Replacing Mom

So here my mom and I are. Babysitting our two favourite little people: Theo and Zaeli, my sister's son and daughter.

The week has barely begun but I've already learned a few things. For one, I'm not sure I'm ready for the self-sacrifice required to be a mom. There's not a lot of 'me' time when hanging out with a three year old. There's a lot of 'him' time. Somehow sitting and having coffee just isn't on his radar yet! Food in general isn't on his radar. And he would much rather play and race than go for a ride in the chariot so Auntie could get a walk. So yesterday I got to buy a lot of chocolate ice cream cones from Theo at the 'ice cream place' at the play ground. I paid in rocks. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun with him. I'm just not used to thinking about someone else all day!

Secondly, I'm quite surprised at some of the blatant ideologies that come out of Theo's mouth. When Karen was trying to get him to eat something healthy his response was "I want something that will make me feel better." "What would make you feel better." "Umm...Candy." Right. He's only three and he's already trying to feel better! And he shouldn't have to eat his breakfast. Why? What is the rationale? "I want to play with my cars for a bit." As if his desires are a justifiable reason to not do something he needs to do.

He's just a kid and acting like any kid would. I just think it's amazing that we really don't need to teach a feel good message. It's already ingrained in the very fiber of our being. Hmmm. It sounds like my first and second points are quite related. Maybe I'm still a little to much like a three year old!

March 28

And so it begins...

Tina demonstrating how to design a hot pad. 

This week we began this spring's season of Apple Seeds.  Over the next six weeks we are going to be imparting all kinds of wisdom to these eager 8-12 year old girls.  At least I hope we will! 

This first week was more of an introduction.  The girls started designing the pot holder they will be working on over the next few weeks.  Sort of a quilted thing.  They had a lot of fun with that as the picture at the bottom shows! 

My message to them was that the reason we're doing Apple Seeds is to follow the example in Titus 2 of teaching younger 'women' how to live a life that pleases God.  This includes everything in life, not just reading our Bibles and going to church.  Each girl drew a picture of the kind of woman she wants to be when she grows up.  There were doctors, vets, moms, strong Christians, women who were nice, loving and look good.  As we looked at the list, I reminded them that even though they are young, they can already be practicing to become these women. 

For example, if a girl would like to be a vet but her cat is starving, that's not very good.  She can already practice caring for animals now.  A girl who wants to be a mom can babysit.  A girl who would like to be kind can be nice to the annoying cousin who is coming to visit.  Each girl was challenged to pick one area she would like to work on through the week and one way she can practice that.

I'm excited to see what the next five weeks will bring.  I'll be missing the next two so you can pray for Miriam and Stephanie as they talk to the girls about the gospel next week and insecurity and true beauty the following week.

 

Four very excited girls designing their 'quilt' pot holders.
March 05

Mentoring to Mentor

Spring is springing...or almost...or we hope it will soon...but spring means Appleseeds!  The age 8-12 version of Apples of Gold.  Appleseeds is a six week mentoring program for girls.  Throughout the six weeks they will learn some practical domestic skills (cooking, baking, setting tables), some manner lessons (table manners, posture) and spiritual lessons (who God is, who we are, how to live in our culture). 
 
I am exciting about this starting again this year.  Some extra excitement for me is that I am going to get to mentor girls to mentor girls.  There are some older teen girls who will be helping out in a variety of capacities, passing on what they have learned as they've gone through the teen years to girls just a few steps behind them.  I think this is getting a bit closer to the Titus 2 model of women teaching younger women.  Each of us are younger than someone and older than someone so we can both be mentored and mentor.  I am as excited to see how the teen girls will learn and grow as the actual participants themselves!
 
As Appleseeds approaches I will keep you updated on some of the topics we will be discussing.  Thanks for your prayers.
February 07

It's Time

It's time to shed some pounds.
 
The Bible says to judge ourselves soberly rather than more highly than we should so I looked in the mirror and said, "Yes, it's time."
 
But then I thought, do I want to lose weight just so that I look better and feel better about myself?  Yeah, pretty much.  But considering that losing weight isn't evil but rather eating too much is wrong, there must be a way to glorify God through weight loss.  So here's my list of ways that I can glorify God by losing weight:
 
- Food has often been a god in my life.  By eating less and when hungry I can remind myself that I am not a god to be pleased but rather that God is God.
- My body is called God's temple.  He has given it to me to take care of, therefore it's important that I take good care of it.
- When I eat lots or the wrong things and am not active I get sluggish in thinking and work as well.  By becoming more healthy, I will also be taking care of my mind.
 
What do you think?
January 25

Painting for Charity

This past week a random memory came to mind.
 
I'm not sure how old I was.  Maybe grade 2 or 3.  I think I thought myself quite artistic at the time so I painted several pictures: tulips on grass with a sun in the corner and the like.  I was pretty impressed with my work and thought it would be good enough to sell.  So I got an egg carton where I would keep the money I made and called a friend to see if she would be willing to be my first customer. 
 
A short time later I left her house 20 cents richer and confident that my career was off to a good start. 
 
What is surprising about this memory is that my pupose was not to get rich but rather to make money to give to those who were less fortunate, namely my cousin who was living with us who had incured a sizeable debt in illegal activity but was on the road to reform and my sister who was working and saving for Bible school.  So, when I got home I wrote a note to my cousin, took half the profit (10 cents) and placed note and dime on a table in his room.  I don't remember if I made it that far with my sister.
 
But I do remember what happened next.  My mom came home.  As soon as she came inside it became clear that my sister had been listening in when I had called my friend because she told my mom what I had done.  Neither were impressed and told me that I had to return the 20 cents to my friend.  I did so and never again tried to pursue a career in art.
 
As I was thinking about this memory I was trying to figure out how I felt about it.  I don't remember how I felt as a child, although I do remember looking back on it at some point and being embarrassed that I had thought that a dime would be useful to anyone.  But I suppose the closest emotion I could attach to my reaction now was confusion.  Why did my sister think it was a bad thing that I had done?  Why did my mom tell me to return the money?  If I sift through my memories this is one of few, if not the only, memory I have of doing something selfless and compassionate.  And yet, rather than being encouraged I was stopped. 
 
I want to remember this memory.  I want to remember this memory so that when my kids pull some stunt like this I can encourage what's good about it.  Maybe give them some direction but encourage the heart behind it.  Compassion is so far from human nature that it needs all the encouragement it can get.
January 21

Our Little Adventure

Christina and I had our first major situation this weekend.  The drain pipe for our shower froze.

Roomie picture with the frozen shower

So we:

-poured boiling hot water down the drain

-called our plumber friend

-'plunged vigorously'

Me plunging...or pretending to

Christina getting right into it

- called Christina's dad

- and put a heater in the crawl space

Our beautiful crawl space

And then we went to bed...and then to work...And what do you know, when I came home from work today the drain worked great!  Maybe we are plumbers after all....

 

By the way, there are updated pictures of our house in the 'House' album.  Enjoy!  And come see the real thing soon!

 

 

 

December 02

Love Laughter

This summer I shared a special moment with my nephew.  It was night time and he was tired so I read his Bible story and tried to listen to him pray.  He wanted me to lay down with him.  As I lay beside him, he with his eyes closed, 'sucky' in mouth and puppy in arm, he was so cute and my love for him so close to the surface that I couldn't help giggling.  Well, laughing is more like it.  It was a silent laugh b/c I didn't want to disturb him, but he felt the vibration, opened his eyes and seeing me laughing started to laugh.  Knowing it was time to sleep I quit laughing, settled him down and as soon as he closed his eyes started laughing again.  He opened his eyes, saw me and started laughing again.  We played tag like that for a while until going to sleep was a joke and we walked down the hall to join the family again, Theo now wide awake and bouncing around.
 
Whenever I remember that laugh fest I can't help but smile and even giggle a bit.  I started thinking, I wonder if God as our Father, ever looks at us and His love is so close to the surface that He begins to smile?  Or laugh a little?  Somehow I think He might. 
October 13

I am Free to Dance, I am Free to Live for You

I love going to a good conference.  A conference that is gospel centered and challenging.  Too often they are fluffy with a lot of emotionalism.  This past week I was a driver/chaperone for a student leadership conference for Christian schools.  Although everyone who had gone had good things to say, my expectations for content were not high.  I was expecting a fun and entertaining three days.
 
I did get that.  But so much more as well.
 
The speaker, Glenn Maddon, was blunt and challenged action.  The kind of challenge that you can't just say, or I couldn't anyway, "yeah, that's great, I should do that, but...later."  He gave opportunity to respond to his challenge.  The first was to respond with some action, whatever it might be, as we sang a song at the end.  This may seem silly, but for me that meant raising my hands in worship.  I rarely do that and feel a little awkward doing so.  But for me that night, that was an action of response.  Funny how a physical action that may seem very small is often connected to the spiritual and makes it easier to respond that way as well.
 
The second night Glenn was talking about fig leaves (a la Adam and Eve hiding from God using fig leaves).  Following his message we were asked to quitely get into our room groups and have a time of confession about what some of our fig leaves are.  While I didn't share as much as I could have, there was a lot of hidden wounds and sins that came to the surface in our group.  The girls were being challenged to be open, just as I was challenged on a smaller level to raise my hands.  It was vulnerable, there were tears, and it was good.
 
But what impressed me the most about the music, the main sessions and the workshops I attended is how gospel centered they were.  The amazing truth that I am a sinner but that Christ has taken my sin and nailed it to His cross, not because I am worthy but because He loves me, was proclaimed again and again.  During the music time we sang songs like "It is Well with my soul" with the line "My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole is nailed to His cross and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul!".  And "Your Grace is Enough" with the line "Great is Your faithfulness oh Lord, You wrestle with the sinner's heart..."  And "Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe."  Wonderful. 
 
It is because of this truth, that Jesus paid it all, that I am free to dance and I am free to live for Christ.  How amazing!  I am free to not sin!  Which means that I am free in Christ to put faith into action and to be open and vulnerable.  How wonderful and how grateful I am to have been reminded again and again over the last few days. 
October 07

Thanksgiving!

This morning in church the children's story talked about making a list of things we're thankful for.  I personally am lacking in the thankful department so it would be good for me to do the excercise.  Here's my list (in no particular order):
 
water (lakes, rivers, streams)
the smell of spring
technology (like the computer I'm sitting at right now)
music
laughter
my heritage
my neice
my nephew
family in general
family gatherings
a job
Jesus Christ's death in my place on the cross
that God hears me when I pray
the Holy Spirit's presence and guidance
food
warmth
changing seasons
touch
beauty
friends
new college and career group
teenagers
mentors
beautiful people (inner beauty)
Christian radio
church
car
books, books, books
conviction
the Word of God
weddings
colour
e-mail
coffee
that God is in control rather than society or governments
piano
ability to sing
choir
godly grandparents
grandma's prayers
 
I could go on and on I think...now to be thankful for these things all the time, and to express it. 
 
Thank You Lord for all Your gifts great and small.  Thank You for Your continued care, Your sovereignty and Your majesty.  To You be the glory and praise for all You are and all You do forever and ever.  Amen.
September 23

Song for Sunday: I Will Cast My Cares

Jesus, I'm frail,
I'm so very weak.
My faithfulness fails,
My courage will flee.
But You are my rock,
My shelter and shade.
When I'm burdened down,
You'll carry the weight.
 
So I will cast my cares on You.
Yes, I will cast my cares on You.
I will rest within Your ars,
Knowing I am safe from harm.
I will cast my cares on You.
 
When I'm overwhelmed
And I cannot stand,
You hear every cry
And You lift my head.
I'm desperate for grace
And mercy anew
I must have Your strength,
Oh, I must have You.
 
~ Stephen Altrogge 

I'm Back!

Not that I was actually gone but after a summer of alternate scheduling it's good to be getting back into routine.  Much has happened since last I was on here.
 
-I've been accepted as a missionary with Canadian Sunday School Mission.
-Two weeks of camp (ages 8-12 and ages 13+) and all the prep before hand.
-A family reunion with close to 90 cousins, aunts and uncles.
-Two weeks of neice and nephew time.
-My brother moved to BC to live and work with my sister and her family.
-Eight day canoe trip in the rugged beauty of North-Western Ontario.
-Weekend CSSM Camp Board Meeting/Retreat.
-Weekend visit with good friend Megaan.
-Started ISCF at the high school.
-Started youth.  
 
All in all it's been a whirlwind of a summer but filled with many blessings.  I'm so thankful for the relationships that were created and/or deepened, for the laughs, the deep talks, the reminiscing.  I'm also so grateful to God for the energy He has given to carry me through, the creativity and ideas especially with preparing for camp and the doors He has opened for continued ministry in the area.
 
Looking ahead I'm also excited to see what all will be happening this year. The people He will bring into my life, the opportunities He will place in front of me, the challenges He will carry me through, the rough edges He will sand away.
June 15

Changes

It seems to be the season for changes.  Two men and their families who have been quite involved in my life are leaving the area.  One has already left actually.  One has been a coworker in ministry for 3 years.  The other has been guiding me through "Theology 101" over the past year and a half.  I'm still adjusting to working part time.  I just got word this week, albeit through the grapevine, that I have officially been accepted as a missionary with CSSM (Canadian Sunday School Mission).  My brother returned home after 8 months in Sweden.  Summer is here, which means a shift in schedule from youth, ISCF and chapel to camp prep and mowing lawn.  And last, but not least, I know am 'escorted' wherever I go.  Meet the latest addition to my life:
 

My beautiful Escort Escort Interior

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Some of these changes are just different.  Some have sadness attached.  And some come with excitement of what is yet unknown but to come.  But I will put it out there, if anyone knows of a man (married, or not) who has a heart for youth ministry, is willing to live on pretty much nothing, loves the Lord and has a mature understanding of God's Word, we've got an opening here!
 
 
June 06

Getting on to the Real Pleasure

How do people survive spiritually when they work full time?  Those two years that I did not work in a 9-5, 'secular' job I knew I was spoiled being able to spend relaxed, extended time in my 'closet'.  I always felt sorry for students and others who work, who have most of the hours of their days booked.  I'm still advantaged by not working every day and yet I'm remembering how hard it is. 
 
It's hard work getting to know Creator God and His Son Jesus Christ.  Theoretically it should be filled with ease and joy.  After all, God is the answer to all our desires.  The fulfillment of every longing.  But how shallow my desire or as CS Lewis would say, I am far to easily pleased.  Because I find pleasure in sleep (especially) or thinking about a recently watched movie, or the tasks for the day ahead and so it becomes work to get beyond those small pleasures that so easily satisfy for the moment to get on to the real pleasure: Jesus Christ Himself. 
 
I so often think of the great men and women who have gone before.  For example Hudson Taylor (I believe) would get up at 2 in the morning, spend a couple hours in prayer and reading the Bible and then go back to sleep because that was when he had quiet.  I want my connection with the Lord to be that important and that vital but as someone has said, "I'm learning that discipline takes discipline."
 
Anyone else know what I'm talking about?
May 06

Song for Sunday: Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I can praise You will all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You
 
Maybe since my life was changed long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on You, oh Lord, my only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
 
So I pray
 
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain
 
I am yours regardless of the dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me by suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
 
So I pray
 
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain
 
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
 
~ MercyMe
April 15

Song for Sunday: I'll Fly Away

I'm getting more and more excited all the time for that glad morning.  Praise God.  To see His face.  To worship Him without the tentacles of sin.  It will be sweet.
 
Some glad morning when this life is o'er
I'll fly away
To a home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away
 
I'll fly away, O glory
I'll fly away
When I die, hallelujah! by and by
I'll fly away
 
When the shadows from this life have flown
I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I'll fly
I'll fly away
 
O how glad and happy when we meet
I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackels on my feet
I'll fly away
 
Just a few more weary days and then
I'll fly away
To a land where joy shall never end
I'll fly away
 
~Unknown

Discouraged

I've been discouraged for a while now.  Not sure discouraged is the best word but for lack of a better one I'll use it.  Partly because looking into the world around me is down right draining.  I've been reading a book over the last couple weeks that has exposed various worldviews that people hold.  They are so hopeless, so illogical, so individualistic and so intricately embedded into all of culture and life, even the church.  When asked we would of course declare that God has created the world and that salvation is only through Jesus Christ.  And yet we, I, live as though I can choose my own way and am not accountable to anyone, let alone God.  When it is said bluntly: all choices are morally equal and so there is no such things as sin and therefore no right and wrong, my response is immediate and emphatic that this is not true.  And yet I live a lifestyle based on that assumption, denying it all the while with my mind and heart.
 
We've lost our fear of God.  We've lost a sense that He is awesome in the sense of creating awe.  Romans 3:18 says "There is no fear of God before their eyes."  Although we believe He exists and have trusted Jesus for salvation, we act like He isn't going to judge us or hold us accountable.  I don't.  As long as no one confronts me I must be doing okay. 
 
Which is really where this bout of discouragement has started.  The culture aspect has followed but it really started within.  Tracing it back I think it began one evening as a group of us were planning for a missions weekend our church held.  We were discussing what we as a church really need to do and how important prayer is and on and on.  One of those 'rah, rah' sessions where all the problems are diagnosed and all the solutions given and the participants walk away feeling good that we've solved the worlds' problems and do nothing to implement the solutions we've discovered.  At one point in the meeting I got tired and cried within, "I'm tired of being challenged and not changed!"
 
I look out and I see hopelessness.  I look in and I see a young woman with good intentions and desires who is largely unchanged, unmotivated and independent of God.  Part of me wants to stay in this discouragement because then at least I'm feeling something and can even pretend that I'm accomplishing something.  Reminds me of the many times that I've conned myself into believing I was being productive by staying in bed and pressing my snooze button for the umpteenth time.  I am not who I want to be.  And in a moment of uncharacteristic honesty I'm going to say that I'm not even someone who deserves to be financially supported or applauded in the ministry sense.  I'm not looking for people to be condescending and say things like "Debbie, you're not that bad..."  I dare you.  Look into what I do.  Investigate.  How effective is my life?  How much sway does God have in it?  And then please, be honest and help me.
 
I'm not who I would be.  I'm not who I preach at others to be.
 
And yet, and yet... even today God gives hope.  "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  (Matthew 28:20)   
April 08

Song for [Easter]: Christ the Lord is Risen Today

Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia
Sons of men and angels say, Alleluia
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia
Sing, ye heavens and earth reply, Alleluia
 
Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia
Where, O death is now thy sting? Alleluia
Once He died, our souls to save, Alleluia
Where's thy victory, O grave Alleluia
 
Love's redeeming work is done, Alleluia
Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia
Death in vain forbids Him rise, Alleluia
Christ has opened paradise, Alleluia
 
Soar we now where Christ has led, Alleluia
Following our exalted Head, Alleluia
Made like Him, like Him we rise, Alleluia
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, Alleluia
 
~ Charles Wesley
April 02

Song for Sunday: For the Cross

This song, while being fun and upbeat, has some of the most profound lyrics concerning the cross.
 
I will love You for the cross and I will love You for the cost,
Man of suffering, Bringer of my peace.
You came into a world of shame and paid the price we could not pay:
Death that brought me life, blood that brought me home,
Death that brought me life, blood that brought me home.
 
And I love You for the cross!
I'm overwhelmed at the mystery.
I love You for the cross;
That Jesus You would do this for me
When You were broken, You were beaten
You were punished, I go free!
When You were wounded and rejected
In Your mercy, I am healed.
 
Jesus Christ the sinner's friend, does this kindness know no bounds?
With Your precious blood You have purchased me.
O, the mystery of the cross!  You were punished, You were crushed,
But that punishment has become my peace.
Yes, that punishment has become my peace.
 
~ Matt & Beth Redman